It's Okay to Ask: How Checking on Friends After Layoffs Can Help
In today's fast-paced corporate world, layoffs have unfortunately become an unavoidable part of the professional landscape. Whether it's economic downturns, restructuring, or technological shifts, companies often trim their workforce, leaving many professionals jobless. And yet, while layoffs are a hot topic of conversation in boardrooms, they're often taboo among friends.
Why is that?
Many people believe that bringing up the topic of a job loss, much like asking about a divorce or a breakup, can cause discomfort or pain to the affected individual. It's thought that the wound is still raw, and touching on the subject might open it further. But here's a twist: According to research and expert opinions, asking about these topics might actually help rather than harm.
Research and Psychology Back It Up
Several studies in behavioral science point towards the importance of addressing tough topics openly. Dr. Susan Silk, a clinical psychologist, and Barry Goldman, a faculty member at the University of Arizona, introduced the concept of "Ring Theory" to manage grief and crises. According to them, those at the center of the crisis (like the person who has been laid off) can vent outward, while those in outer circles (friends and acquaintances) provide support inward. This model suggests that ignoring the topic can make the person at the center feel more isolated, while open conversation can provide relief and support.
In a similar vein, research by the American Psychological Association has shown that people often assume that others don't want to talk about sensitive topics when, in fact, many do. The disconnect comes from our own fear of saying the wrong thing, which can lead to avoidance.
Breaking the Silence
Open communication is often the best way to help your friend or ex-coworker navigate their post-layoff life. Here are a few reasons why you should consider asking:
It Shows You Care: Asking about their job search shows that you genuinely care about their well-being. It’s a signal that they’re not forgotten and that you’re willing to be there for them.
Provides a Support Network: Sometimes, talking about the stress of job hunting or sharing interview frustrations can be cathartic. Being a listening ear can be a much-needed outlet.
It May Lead to Opportunities: Bringing up the topic could lead to sharing potential job leads or networking opportunities, which can be invaluable for someone in the midst of a job search.
Normalizes the Experience: By openly discussing job loss, you help to destigmatize it. This is important because layoffs happen to many people, and they often don’t reflect the employee’s competence or worth.
How to Approach the Topic
The way you approach the topic matters. Here are some tips:
Be Empathetic: Approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. You don't need to dive right into the specifics but ask open-ended questions that give them room to share what they’re comfortable with.
Offer Support, Not Pity: Focus on offering support and encouragement rather than expressing pity. Keep your tone positive and supportive.
Respect Their Boundaries: Some people may not be ready to talk about their layoff or job hunt. Respect their boundaries if they indicate they don't want to discuss it, and offer support in other ways.
Conclusion
Layoffs can feel like a sudden fall into an abyss, but friends and ex-coworkers can be a lifeline in that dark moment. It's often okay to ask about the job hunt, as long as you approach it with empathy and respect. You might find that instead of reopening wounds, you are actually helping to heal them. So, go ahead and be that friend who asks; your concern could make all the difference.
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